School Psychologist
- What is a School Psychologist?
- Calendar
-
Circle of Friends Programs
-
Circle of Friends Class Lessons
- Kindergarten Learns About The Group Plan
- Kindergarten Classes Learn About Thinking With Your Eyes
- First Graders Learned the Difference Between Tattling & Telling
- First Graders Learn About Bully Behavior
- Second Graders Become Problem Solvers
- Third Graders Learn About Anger Management
- Third Graders Learn About Inclusion and Exclusion
- Third Graders Learn About The Power of Mean Words
- Fourth Graders Learn About the Role of the Bystander
- Fourth Graders Learn About Bully Behavior
- Fourth Graders Learn How to Handle Being the Target of Bully Behavior
- Fifth Graders Learn About Bully Behaviors
-
Circle of Friends Class Lessons
- Socialization Clubs
- Banana Splits Club (for Children of Non-Nuclear Families)
- Peer Mediation Program
-
Parenting
- 10 Ways to Teach Your Child the Skills to Prevent Sexual Abuse
- Camp Homesickness
- Developing Organizational Skills
- Guided Problem Solving
- Helicopter Parenting
- Learning a Second Language
- Manners Matter
- Self Concept Builders and Stealers
- Sharing Control Through Choices
- Small Steps Change Lives
- Talking to Children About Death
- Understanding Your Child's Anger
- Using Enforceable Statements
- Socialization
- Media
- Starting a New School
- Raising Successful Children
-
Manners Matter
MANNERS MATTER!
By Dr. Charles FayIn all parts of their lives, children with great manners have a powerful advantage over those who do not. They make friends easier, get along better with their teachers, and eventually make much better employees and spouses. Here are four techniques that will give your child this life-long gift:
Tip No. 1: Make a list
Sit down with your kids and make a list of the specific behaviors polite people display. Have fun with this activity. Your written list might look something like:- Say "please" and "thank you"
- Eat with their mouths closed
- Burp in the privacy of their own rooms
- Say "excuse me"
- Hold doors open for people
Tip No. 2: Model these manners
Children learn much more from our actions than from our wordsTip No. 3: Provide kids what they want only when they use manners
When parents use Love and Logic, they don’t waste their breath lecturing about good manners. Instead, they very politely refuse to provide what their kids want unless they hear a sweet "please" or "thank you" and see the other behaviors on their "manner list."For this to work,parents must respond to requests with polite sadness instead of anger or sarcasm. For example, a parent might say in a sad tone of voice,"This is such a bummer. We can’t go to the movies today because you need more practice with manners first."
A parent who sets this limit, avoids anger or sarcasm, and holds firm by staying home will see a very upset child in the short-term and a much happier, more responsible one in the long-term.
Tip No. 4: Expect them to repay you for any embarrassment they cause
If your child continues to be rude, he or she may need to repay you for the embarrassment or inconvenience created. With genuine empathy and sadness, a parent might say, "How sad! Your rudeness at Aunt Mary’s house really drained the energy out of me. I’ve been too tired to clean the bathrooms. When you get them done, I’m sure I’ll feel a whole lot better."If the child refuses or forgets to do the chore, wise parents don’t lecture or threaten. Instead, they quietly allow their child to "pay" for their bad manners with one of their favorite toys.
Thousands of parents have transformed manner monsters into polite kids who are a pleasure to be around. At one Love and Logic seminar, a parent commented, "When I used these tips, my boys almost immediately started to shape up. They even warned one of their rather rude friends who was visiting: ‘Better stop burping…Our mom’s gonna make you do chores.’"