GUIDING CHILDREN TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS

Step 1:        Empathy.

                   “How sad.”

                   “I bet that hurts.”

Step 2:        Send the “Power Message.”

                   “What do you think you are going to do?”

Step 3:        Offer Choices.

                   “Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?”

                   At this point, offer a variety of choices that range from bad to good.  It’s usually best to start out with the poor choices.

                   Each time a choice is offered, go on to step four, forcing the child to state the consequences in his/her own words.  This means that you will be going back and forth between steps 3 and 4.

Step 4:        Have your child state the consequences.

                   “And how will that work?”

Step 5:        Give permission for your child to either solve the problem or not solve the problem.

                   “Good luck.  I hope it works out.”

                   Have no fear.  If the child is fortunate enough to make a poor choice, he/she may have a double learning lesson. 

Adapted from loveandlogic.com