Guidelines for Sharing Control Through Choices

Rules for Choices:

• Never give a choice on an issue that might cause a problem for you or for anyone else.
• For each choice, give only two options, each of which will be OK with you.
• If the child doesn’t decide in ten seconds, decide for him or her.
• Only give choices that fit with your value system.

Some Examples of Little Choices:

• Would you like to wear your coat or carry it?
• Are you going to clean the garage or mow the lawn this week?
• Will you have these chores done tomorrow? Or do you need an extra day to get them finished?
• Are you having peas or carrots as your vegetable tonight?
• Are you going to bed now? Or would you like to wait 15 minutes?
• Can you stay with us and stop that, or do you need to leave for a while and come back when you are sweet?
• Are you going to put your pajamas on first or brush your teeth first?
• Will you be home at 10:00? Or do you need an extra half hour with your friends?

Adapted from loveandlogic.com